I dont know you - 憂鬱症

probably is the worst setence I could imagine if someone I know told me so.

In Bible's world, the worst place is not hell but limbo.

I had a few rows with Info Dept because they refused to maintain my PC.

The reason they told me was that that the PC was purchased under research project therefore they are not responsible for the maintenance. I felt angry and upset because my PC was also the hospital's property. After the PI retires, he cannot take the PC away with him and the fucking Info Dept refuse to do their job. The lady kept emphasising that it was not their business and they made any no mistakes with my PC AND they had serviced my PC FOR FREE three times.

Rationally I understood her but emotionally that was my button and the button was pushed by them. 'I don't know you.' So I refuse to give my kindness to you even though I am capable of doing so. I am so fearful maybe one day I might end up in a situation where I need people's kindness to survive and if that really happens, I could die because people refuse to offer their kindness.

I remember when I was in the Forbidden City and felt intense stomach ache. I lay down because the pain was too much. People just walked by and ignored me. I felt too much pain to care about their indifference. But looking back, I just found that situation dreadful. This society is so aloof and less and less people care. Now I care less as well yet I feel heart ache when see people care less.

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▲ ×Girafe aime rêver×

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