我的人生一直都是錯誤 - 憂鬱症

By Andrew
at 2021-12-12T18:49
at 2021-12-12T18:49
Table of Contents
每當認真思考人生時,隨之而來的是一種痛苦的焦躁感
找不到答案,茫茫人生,毫無方向
就像很多年前大考完選擇科系時那樣
看了又看想了又想,卻沒有真正有興趣想要讀的科系,最後勉強選擇了感覺不討厭的科系
結果後來讀得很辛苦還差的畢不了業
那痛苦的感覺還記憶猶新
總之
很多時候我都覺得自己是被迫活著而已
為了活下去,所以跟所有人一樣做了該做的事
讀書,考試,上大學,畢業,工作....
但我卻沒有真正熱愛的事物
沒有真正想做的事
光是保持不掉進憂鬱的黑洞裡就很費力了
看到別人都正正常常地生活著
不禁懷疑,這世界上真的存在著像我這樣的人嗎?
也許在我看不到的地方也有很多人跟我一樣吧
只是在我的生活圈好像只有我是異類
其實我的人生一直都是錯誤
勉強地活到了現在
但一路走來都沒有意義
因為我什麼都做不好
現在35歲跟個廢人一樣
雖然還有一份簡單的低薪工作讓我可以賺錢
我依舊覺得自己很廢很沒有價值
每天也在思考人生有沒有另外的路
但我真的不知道人生的下一步該怎麼走
一切好像已經到了盡頭了
沒有社會競爭力的我早已沒有起死回生的機會
生涯發展、職業規劃....這些事離我好遙遠
而絕望 卻總是離我很近
--
找不到答案,茫茫人生,毫無方向
就像很多年前大考完選擇科系時那樣
看了又看想了又想,卻沒有真正有興趣想要讀的科系,最後勉強選擇了感覺不討厭的科系
結果後來讀得很辛苦還差的畢不了業
那痛苦的感覺還記憶猶新
總之
很多時候我都覺得自己是被迫活著而已
為了活下去,所以跟所有人一樣做了該做的事
讀書,考試,上大學,畢業,工作....
但我卻沒有真正熱愛的事物
沒有真正想做的事
光是保持不掉進憂鬱的黑洞裡就很費力了
看到別人都正正常常地生活著
不禁懷疑,這世界上真的存在著像我這樣的人嗎?
也許在我看不到的地方也有很多人跟我一樣吧
只是在我的生活圈好像只有我是異類
其實我的人生一直都是錯誤
勉強地活到了現在
但一路走來都沒有意義
因為我什麼都做不好
現在35歲跟個廢人一樣
雖然還有一份簡單的低薪工作讓我可以賺錢
我依舊覺得自己很廢很沒有價值
每天也在思考人生有沒有另外的路
但我真的不知道人生的下一步該怎麼走
一切好像已經到了盡頭了
沒有社會競爭力的我早已沒有起死回生的機會
生涯發展、職業規劃....這些事離我好遙遠
而絕望 卻總是離我很近
--
Tags:
憂鬱症
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