老爸~放心當菩薩 - 化療
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By Lauren
at 2012-11-22T16:27
at 2012-11-22T16:27
Table of Contents
11/1我家老爹跟胸腺癌奮鬥三年終於能休息了...
我...說不出那種痛....
從發現癌症...到上來我們醫院做治療....
復發兩次~~到今年九月第三次復發.......
我有著一種說不出的無力感...
雖然一開始在淋巴器官發現時我早有心理準備
這預後不是鬧著玩....但我始終希望會有很多的奇蹟出現
當然...這三年...我還是看到了很多的奇蹟
從一開始他老人家戒掉了四十幾年的菸...
到每次的化療出現的都是好結果...
直到這次...該說老天不在給我奇蹟了...還是,我爸累了!
他在臨終前幾天叫了我跟姐姐過去....
囑咐我要簽下DNR的同意書...安撫我姐姐要他好好照顧自己
跟我那離婚二十幾年的媽媽再通上電話....
我彷彿知道他準備要離開了~~
在護理站的休息室內我嗆著淚水在簽同意書....
同事們很好心的給了我一大捲的衛生紙對我說
"哭完再簽吧!!!!"
我心想"這應該是簽我自己的同意書啊!!怎麼會是我爸的!!"
迫於事實,我認清了!!是啊!!我簽了他的不急救同意書
簽完同意書的第四天的晚上,我爹走了!
走的安詳嗎?我不知道?!
我只知道~我要做該幫他做的事!
幫他最後一次擦澡,換衣服,送他最後一程
然後讓他去佛祖的身邊聽佛法....
我家老爹也很逞強...從不告訴家人他有多痛
因為最後一次的復發狀況,是轉移到腹膜,肝臟,胃,食道
甚至惡病質的狀況超嚴重,以至影響到腦跟胸腔
出現了聽覺退化,夢遊,胸腔積水.....
所以,離開這世間,對他來說,或許真的事件好事吧!!
老爸啊~~在天上好好當菩薩嘿!!答應你的事我會做到!!!
在天上好好的修......要保佑我們嘿!!
--
我...說不出那種痛....
從發現癌症...到上來我們醫院做治療....
復發兩次~~到今年九月第三次復發.......
我有著一種說不出的無力感...
雖然一開始在淋巴器官發現時我早有心理準備
這預後不是鬧著玩....但我始終希望會有很多的奇蹟出現
當然...這三年...我還是看到了很多的奇蹟
從一開始他老人家戒掉了四十幾年的菸...
到每次的化療出現的都是好結果...
直到這次...該說老天不在給我奇蹟了...還是,我爸累了!
他在臨終前幾天叫了我跟姐姐過去....
囑咐我要簽下DNR的同意書...安撫我姐姐要他好好照顧自己
跟我那離婚二十幾年的媽媽再通上電話....
我彷彿知道他準備要離開了~~
在護理站的休息室內我嗆著淚水在簽同意書....
同事們很好心的給了我一大捲的衛生紙對我說
"哭完再簽吧!!!!"
我心想"這應該是簽我自己的同意書啊!!怎麼會是我爸的!!"
迫於事實,我認清了!!是啊!!我簽了他的不急救同意書
簽完同意書的第四天的晚上,我爹走了!
走的安詳嗎?我不知道?!
我只知道~我要做該幫他做的事!
幫他最後一次擦澡,換衣服,送他最後一程
然後讓他去佛祖的身邊聽佛法....
我家老爹也很逞強...從不告訴家人他有多痛
因為最後一次的復發狀況,是轉移到腹膜,肝臟,胃,食道
甚至惡病質的狀況超嚴重,以至影響到腦跟胸腔
出現了聽覺退化,夢遊,胸腔積水.....
所以,離開這世間,對他來說,或許真的事件好事吧!!
老爸啊~~在天上好好當菩薩嘿!!答應你的事我會做到!!!
在天上好好的修......要保佑我們嘿!!
--
Tags:
化療
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