完全被否定了 - 憂鬱症
By Megan
at 2018-03-20T00:42
at 2018-03-20T00:42
Table of Contents
原本沒有期待在職場上交到朋友,不過老闆娘跟我說要試著去融入他們,於是我開始希望能在那裡找到朋友,也因為自己很想談戀愛,對某個前輩有移情作用,所以有想要比較積極的跟他當朋友,當我跟同在那個地方工作的朋友說完這件事的隔天,老闆娘跟我說:「你不用刻意想跟誰當朋友,因為你們的時薪都一樣,沒有人會想跟你當朋友。」這時間點有點敏感哦:)
因為氣色被說很差,所以開始化妝去上班。今天請在同個地方工作的那個朋友幫我問星期五我上幾點到幾點,後來他下班以後打給我,跟我說了星期五的班以後,她又接著說:「老闆娘說你不用刻意化妝去上班,如果覺得氣色很差,塗個護唇膏就好。」「老闆娘也說不用刻意跟誰當朋友,因為你們時薪都一樣,不會有人想跟你當朋友。」
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈(痛哭)
一開始叫我要融入的是妳,後來叫我不要刻意跟誰當朋友;嫌我氣色差的是妳,叫我不要刻意化妝的也是妳!妳到底想要我怎樣?我的努力好像都被否定了。對不起,我長太醜了,化妝起來也很醜,髒了你的眼睛真的很對不起,一切都是我的錯,對不起,我該死,對不起,對不起,對不起。
被出賣也是我的錯,對不起我不應該相信你的,對不起,我不應該相信你在知道所有事以後不會說出去,對不起,一切是我的錯。
我想找個人訴說,但該死的,我卻退縮了,對不起,我不知道該怎麼以舒適的姿態活著,對不起,我需要靠藥物控制情緒,對不起。
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Sent from JPTT on my OPPO F1f.
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原產地在虛無的波波安娜。
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Tags:
憂鬱症
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