妹妹。 - 化療
By Cara
at 2015-06-27T01:30
at 2015-06-27T01:30
Table of Contents
我都叫她 (妹妹)
她不是我的妹妹,是我唯一的女兒。
我早婚,24歲有了她,長得可愛肥嫩得人疼愛
因為只打算生一個,所以從小悉心呵護,親自教養長大
從不求她名列前茅,只求身體健康平安長大
高一那年她擺脫了辛苦的國中生涯,選擇她最愛的美術職校
全家鬆了口氣,準備跟她一起迎接嶄新充實的高中生活。
未料,新生的體檢報告傳來壞消息,從此我墜入黑暗
負責報告的秀傳醫院來電告知 :
透過x光片 縱隔腔疑似腫塊 懷疑淋巴瘤 要儘快做更詳細的檢查
接到電話的我手是抖的,因為媽媽在兩年前也因肺癌開刀
這讓我直接就連上等號,也明白事情的嚴重性
那夜,我淚眼看著16歲的孩子熟睡的臉,徹夜不能眠
隔天馬上掛了台中最知名的教學醫院
小兒科醫生安排重照也看了片子,說再觀察吧不一定是瘤
既然醫生這麼說,我安了心回去等待三個月後再照
但不知為何一星期以來我反覆思考,為何兩間醫院判別差距如此大
不死心的我又回去找那小兒科醫生想請教他問題
他一看到我,馬上說 我在找你耶 你上次電話留錯了
原來醫生事後再看片子也覺不尋常
於是隔天馬上安排了斷層檢查,果然看到了那藏在縱隔腔的影像
一顆4公分寬6公分長的腫瘤,就依附在上腔靜脈裡。
醫生一方面訝異,說很罕見的情形,一方面安慰我,長在血管良性多
當場掛了院裡的心臟外科診,忐忑的求診後第一位醫生也無法肯定
是良惡,也無法肯定該怎麼開,又要我們掛心外主任的診
焦急的等了好幾天,帶著孩子還有全家人見了主任想明白到底如何處理
而他,簡單的說 : 這腫瘤惡性機會大,開刀也不見得能開乾淨
放射化療也到不了,預後不佳....當時我真的眼前一黑,眼淚啪地掉下
怎麼會這樣?孩子還生龍活虎,完全無症狀,卻等於被宣告死刑
他說了很多開刀的困難跟後果後要我們回家思考是否要先切片
茫然無緒中,他的助理又打來說不能切片怕擴散,看要不要開刀吧
我個人的感覺,醫生似乎不太願意開這個刀(個人感覺)
無頭蒼蠅的我第一個想到的就是台大
上網查了幾個心外醫生,選了陳益祥醫生掛號
就這麼帶著斷層光碟北上找陳醫生
一看到他,我不知道哪來的勇氣跟委屈
拼命求他一定要幫我妹妹開刀,邊哭邊說
陳醫生很溫暖的安慰我,仔細看片子後也沉吟道 真的很罕見長在這裡
後來他很快速的幫我排定開刀日期,在2012年12月初
我將女兒送進開刀房裡,是個很大的開胸手術
她也是恐懼,感到莫名其妙自己無病無痛為何躺在這準備手術
但我們兩人仍彼此安慰打氣,放心把一切交給陳醫生
手術過程長達八小時,或許那是我人生最長的八小時吧
一顆心揪著直到醫生出來告訴我們 : 手術算是成功,將依附在靜脈
的腫瘤那段全部切除換上人工血管,很盡力的清除乾淨
也沒有其他擴散,就這一顆包覆完整的腫瘤
但,它是惡性的。
當時的心情真是大喜大悲,手術成功平安固然高興,但是惡性腫瘤
往後該怎麼辦,而判斷的類型是惡性肉瘤,又讓我更害怕
查到的資料是擴散後進程快,無有效化藥....
手術後,妹妹恢復的很好很快,轉診到血液腫瘤科,醫生認為
這位置不適合化療跟放療,我說 那就是只能看她的命了嗎?
醫生點點頭,但說這一旦復發轉移,就很糟糕了。
出院後帶孩子回台中,因為也無症狀也不用後續治療
就讓她開始上學,樂天的她頂多是看到胸前的刀疤難過一下
對於自己到底生什麼病,似乎選擇不去知道不去想
而身為母親的我,開始了煎熬漫長的等待
等待三個月後的斷層檢查或mri 再等待六個月後的斷層
陳醫生很盡責的叫我把case轉回他那定期回診
他告訴我報告送去美國鑑定後,發現她是全世界第二例,但開得算乾淨
真的很感恩他,萬分感激
只是每次一到要檢查的前一個月,我就開始吃睡困難
那種被掐住喉嚨等判刑的感覺讓我痛苦極,每每把最壞的狀況想一遍
又趕緊停住提醒自己要樂觀,到處求神拜佛祈求這次過關
拿著香常常說著說著就哭了,焦慮的藥也幫不了我,救不了我
就這樣,妹妹很幸運的通過了一次又一次的檢查
三個月,半年,一年又一年
到2015年6月,也就是前幾天剛做完檢查,我才又放下緊繃的心
對我而言,這一年過關了,才是我的新年,才能安排自己要做什麼
看到陳醫生那爽朗的表情,笑笑的說 沒事啦,明年再見
那才是我勇敢面對未來的最大力量
直到今天才有勇氣來板上分享自己的心路歷程
我最想感謝台大的心臟外科陳益祥醫生
不論是他的技術還是對待病人的態度,都讓我感激涕零
再來也感謝秀傳醫院的放射科,一張片子的判讀救了我的妹妹
最後想跟大家打氣加油,我的媽媽跟女兒都經歷同樣病魔
但她們並沒有被打敗,媽媽已經通過五年期限,健康快樂的過日子
妹妹也準備今年升大學,一樣生龍活虎
雖然妹妹還有兩年複檢期,我也恐怕還要再懸著心兩年
但能遇到對的醫生,妹妹能樂觀面對,我已經非常感恩
希望病友或家屬也能勇敢,保持希望,我們一起加油,祝福大家。
-----
Sent from JPTT on my Asus K011.
--
All Comments
By Dorothy
at 2015-06-29T18:10
at 2015-06-29T18:10
By Ula
at 2015-07-03T16:12
at 2015-07-03T16:12
By Jake
at 2015-07-08T02:09
at 2015-07-08T02:09
By Skylar Davis
at 2015-07-08T05:44
at 2015-07-08T05:44
By Megan
at 2015-07-11T15:09
at 2015-07-11T15:09
By Joe
at 2015-07-15T14:11
at 2015-07-15T14:11
By Yuri
at 2015-07-18T01:07
at 2015-07-18T01:07
By Annie
at 2015-07-19T01:29
at 2015-07-19T01:29
By Steve
at 2015-07-22T09:09
at 2015-07-22T09:09
By Todd Johnson
at 2015-07-27T00:23
at 2015-07-27T00:23
By Ursula
at 2015-07-27T17:22
at 2015-07-27T17:22
By Kyle
at 2015-07-29T07:01
at 2015-07-29T07:01
By David
at 2015-07-29T10:40
at 2015-07-29T10:40
By Blanche
at 2015-07-31T01:50
at 2015-07-31T01:50
By Erin
at 2015-08-04T08:32
at 2015-08-04T08:32
By Necoo
at 2015-08-06T03:18
at 2015-08-06T03:18
By Bethany
at 2015-08-06T20:34
at 2015-08-06T20:34
By Yuri
at 2015-08-11T05:00
at 2015-08-11T05:00
By Olive
at 2015-08-15T11:07
at 2015-08-15T11:07
By Charlotte
at 2015-08-18T03:55
at 2015-08-18T03:55
By Lily
at 2015-08-21T13:05
at 2015-08-21T13:05
By Elizabeth
at 2015-08-22T08:34
at 2015-08-22T08:34
By Yuri
at 2015-08-22T20:17
at 2015-08-22T20:17
By Donna
at 2015-08-23T18:57
at 2015-08-23T18:57
By Quintina
at 2015-08-26T17:55
at 2015-08-26T17:55
By Una
at 2015-08-28T04:50
at 2015-08-28T04:50
By Andy
at 2015-08-30T21:55
at 2015-08-30T21:55
By Liam
at 2015-09-04T08:04
at 2015-09-04T08:04
By George
at 2015-09-07T04:21
at 2015-09-07T04:21
By Hedwig
at 2015-09-08T05:42
at 2015-09-08T05:42
By Aaliyah
at 2015-09-12T13:04
at 2015-09-12T13:04
By Donna
at 2015-09-14T08:47
at 2015-09-14T08:47
By Kelly
at 2015-09-18T01:19
at 2015-09-18T01:19
By Christine
at 2015-09-18T03:11
at 2015-09-18T03:11
By Donna
at 2015-09-20T19:00
at 2015-09-20T19:00
By Susan
at 2015-09-23T12:22
at 2015-09-23T12:22
By Aaliyah
at 2015-09-27T17:40
at 2015-09-27T17:40
By Isabella
at 2015-09-30T11:06
at 2015-09-30T11:06
By Mason
at 2015-10-03T20:42
at 2015-10-03T20:42
By Frederic
at 2015-10-05T12:04
at 2015-10-05T12:04
By Isabella
at 2015-10-07T02:54
at 2015-10-07T02:54
By Sandy
at 2015-10-11T04:33
at 2015-10-11T04:33
By Lydia
at 2015-10-11T13:33
at 2015-10-11T13:33
By Freda
at 2015-10-12T17:17
at 2015-10-12T17:17
By Lucy
at 2015-10-17T01:59
at 2015-10-17T01:59
By Necoo
at 2015-10-18T19:43
at 2015-10-18T19:43
By Oliver
at 2015-10-23T06:04
at 2015-10-23T06:04
By Mia
at 2015-10-25T15:22
at 2015-10-25T15:22
By Xanthe
at 2015-10-27T18:17
at 2015-10-27T18:17
By Rachel
at 2015-10-29T08:19
at 2015-10-29T08:19
By Leila
at 2015-11-02T08:38
at 2015-11-02T08:38
By William
at 2015-11-06T05:43
at 2015-11-06T05:43
By Cara
at 2015-11-07T23:59
at 2015-11-07T23:59
By Oscar
at 2015-11-10T23:29
at 2015-11-10T23:29
By Andy
at 2015-11-11T05:19
at 2015-11-11T05:19
By Heather
at 2015-11-13T01:42
at 2015-11-13T01:42
By Anonymous
at 2015-11-17T16:35
at 2015-11-17T16:35
By Damian
at 2015-11-19T02:46
at 2015-11-19T02:46
By Madame
at 2015-11-23T09:37
at 2015-11-23T09:37
By Kama
at 2015-11-27T18:09
at 2015-11-27T18:09
By Blanche
at 2015-11-28T06:57
at 2015-11-28T06:57
By George
at 2015-12-02T08:43
at 2015-12-02T08:43
By Sandy
at 2015-12-04T10:59
at 2015-12-04T10:59
By Dora
at 2015-12-04T20:43
at 2015-12-04T20:43
By Kama
at 2015-12-06T22:09
at 2015-12-06T22:09
By Hedda
at 2015-12-10T02:51
at 2015-12-10T02:51
By David
at 2015-12-13T18:08
at 2015-12-13T18:08
By Mia
at 2015-12-14T04:16
at 2015-12-14T04:16
By David
at 2015-12-14T23:30
at 2015-12-14T23:30
By Kama
at 2015-12-19T07:11
at 2015-12-19T07:11
By Michael
at 2015-12-21T06:32
at 2015-12-21T06:32
By Anthony
at 2015-12-26T05:21
at 2015-12-26T05:21
By Oliver
at 2015-12-29T10:21
at 2015-12-29T10:21
Related Posts
請教乳癌賀爾蒙藥與防止復發方法
By Kristin
at 2015-06-25T05:17
at 2015-06-25T05:17
怎麼調適心情
By Joseph
at 2015-06-23T23:31
at 2015-06-23T23:31
放療快結束
By Ula
at 2015-06-23T21:05
at 2015-06-23T21:05
95歲的老人得癌症該不該說呢
By Mason
at 2015-06-23T14:17
at 2015-06-23T14:17
胰腺癌的相關問題
By Annie
at 2015-06-22T22:26
at 2015-06-22T22:26